WO/MAN - gender-fluid fashion: transcending gender in fashion through style. Text and interviews by Rae Tilly. Photography by Linh

WO/MAN

gender-fluid fashion: transcending gender in fashion through style

The fashion industry is shifting towards an ever increasingly gender-fluid space.

In addition to S/S 2018 menswear shows sending models down the runway in skirts, on the ninth of June (in a now-deleted tweet), @ASOS_Menswear announced it was moving to @asos and doing away with it’s twitter account, because: “it’s 2018 and different accounts for different genders is no longer a thing”. Topshop has also introduced gender neutral changing rooms.

This growing understanding of gender as something non-binary (or more than just male and female) through pro gender-fluid fashion initiatives mirrors what neuroscience has proven: everyone’s gender exists on a spectrum. Wherever a person lands on this spectrum – whether a person identifies as gender fluid or very male or female (from both the transgender and cisgender communities) – this trend towards progressive gender expression is helping to do away with traditional preconceived notions of how human beings should act and what human beings should wear.

We sat down to chat with three individuals living in Berlin with different backgrounds whose own forms of self expression and gender-fluid fashion has been shaking up traditional attitudes about who should be wearing what (spoiler alert: anyone can wear anything):

Model: Sille. Photographer: Linh

Sille Tødten

22 years old. Born in Denmark. Currently living in Berlin, Kreuzberg.

Can you tell us a little bit about yourself?
I’m a self-taught illustrator who is playing with the thought of making a living from my passions; after all, who doesn’t dream of that? After travelling around last year in Asia and Australia I found myself falling in love with my last destination, Berlin. In Berlin I feel at home in the skate scene but of course also in front of my illustration equipment.

Fashion has become more fluid over time. Yet we still definitely define certain styles are more masculine and others as more feminine. Do you consider the way you dress masculine or feminine? Or do you not really pay much attention to a distinction?
Sille: I definitely consider the way I dress to be more on the masculine side. It is not at all something I pay attention to but I’m aware of it when I go hunting for new stuff for my wardrobe. I always go to the man’s section first and when in the women’s section, I only try on XL sizes or larger. I do seek that choice on purpose, not because I wanna look masculine but because that is a part of my own style. Sometimes it can be frustrating going around in the women’s section looking at flower dresses and crop tops, and seeing the picture society has created of how a woman should dress like. Luckily, I am very aware of what makes me feel comfortable and I know I would not feel any better wearing what the mannequins are forced to wear.

Although there is more fluidity in specific scenes, fashion for women is still often quite “feminine”, sexualised and figure hugging. Do you think women are pressured to look this way? And if so, do you think they are pressured by other women or men?
Sille: As mentioned in my last answer I do personally feel a sort of pressure, especially when I think back on how I saw the reality of a human body just a few years ago. Gladly, today it is different for me and I have learned that if you can accept the body your soul has been given, you will exist in a new world with less difficulties and peace.

That being said, I still experience friends putting themselves down when comparing themselves to other women or men, not only on social media but also out in real life. For example, Instagram which drowns us in manipulated pictures taken from the right angle in the right light, not only affects women but also changes men’s views of how a woman should look like.

I find this issue even more relevant for the younger generations, as I see my friends’ younger sisters and brothers looking like the mannequins. I see a world of young fellas forcing themselves to be something they are not just in order to be accepted.

However, I’m definitely not the only human who is acknowledging this non-existing diversity and stride for fake acceptance. Today we see real women sharing honest pictures from other angles and other lighting.

Some women feel empowered by dressing sexy and stereotypically feminine. What do you think about this?
Sille: You don’t decide what makes you feel empowered. If dressing sexy or stereotypically feminine makes you feel better, nobody should take that away from you. You should never care about what other people are thinking of you – your body is your own canvas and you decide how to paint it.
However, I do believe that some women could see dressing sexy as an easy way to get a attention in order to boost their confidence. But in these scenarios, women are dressing this way based more on insecurity than confidence and being approached by men for the wrong reasons. I think society unfortunately puts women in this complicated position.

Have you always dressed in a way most people consider androgynous? Does this style make you feel empowered? How do you find men respond to your style? Women?
Sille: When I was living in Denmark I did not dare be who I am today. I tried to be something I was not. I was afraid of failing so I never dared to do anything I didn’t know how to immediately succeed at. So without even trying I just convinced myself that no one would never like my artwork and that skateboarding was just too cool for me.

When I realised that you can’t live your life being afraid I started to listen to myself; I stopped forcing myself to wear that XS T-shirt just because other girls did. Since changing my view on my own needs, I have found myself in this limitless place where I decide who I want to be. When I changed my style completely, I found the confidence to try out, in my head, the impossible. Therefore, my style means everything to me, it helps me to push myself to the right places where I can develop.

In response to my style I experience women throwing compliments at me all the time. Compliments full of respect for me just wearing what makes me comfortable. The response from men are few but it happens once in awhile. It is not so often I dress up and go out partying where there would be a higher chance of a woman getting attention from men. Despite being surrounded by men every day when skating, it would feel strange to get more than a comment like: “New shoes? Looks cool.” I’m skating because I love skating. I’m not doing it to get attention from guys which does unfortunately happen. So the non-commenting is not bothering me at all.

Models: Felix. Photographer: Linh

Felix Andreas Kühnert

22 years old. From Lübeck, Germany. Currently living in Berlin, Germany

Can you tell us a little bit about yourself?
Felix: I grew up as someone who at first never really questioned my sexuality nor gender identity. I spent my time with all my female friends acting the same way they did until I was old enough to realise that this behaviour was not what society expected from a “boy”. This made me the gay guy in high school everyone knew about. There were a lot of days I enjoyed that attention but there was a lot of hate resulting from being so polarising. After graduating I thought I could finally be free. I moved to Berlin and tried becoming a hairdresser – quit that. Worked in retail – quit that. Right now I am a PR Consultant with the aspiration to have a career I’ll be proud of in the end which might be an impossible task because I expect so much from myself.

Fashion has become more fluid over time yet we still definitely define certain styles as more masculine and others as more feminine. Do you consider the way you dress masculine or feminine? Or do you not really pay much attention to the distinction/think a distinction is not important?
Felix: My wardrobe for the most part is right in between but slightly on the more masculine side of the spectrum. I don’t wear skirts or dresses, which in the twenty-first century are commonly worn by women. I feel like that my shorter hair and my sometimes visible beard as well as my figure give away I was born male.

My sister looks very similar to me. When she wears my clothes they are slightly on the more feminine side of the spectrum. Thats why I feel like my clothes are right in between: I as a person wearing them determine which gender I am or how “masculine“ or “feminine” my wardrobe appears. So my clothes are more gender fluid than I’ll ever be.

For as long as I remember I always bought my clothes from the “women’s section”. My body is very petite so even if I wanted to I might not even be able to find something my size in the section for men. I really don’t like the distinction between the women’s and men’s section, but to me in the end it doesn’t matter. In my “perfect world” there would still be some kind of distinction so people would know where to go to find the kind of clothes they wanted, but no one would judge anyone based on which section they were shopping in.

Although there is more fluidity in certain scenes, mainstream society pushes stereotypically masculine aesthetics on men which reinforce the idea of men needing to be “manly”. Do you feel pressured to look this way? And if so do you think other men, women and or society are the cause?
Felix: Does society pressure me to look a certain way? – Yes. But it’s more complex than that. Family members of mine who I love a lot have been socialised to think how women and men are meant to be like, look like, behave like. They live in a part of Germany where a lot of people are still very narrow-minded which makes them blend in perfectly and not stand out at all. I feel like there’s still pressure on them which they pass on to their family – including me. It might be an excuse but that’s what holds me back from going all the way. I didn’t even talk to them about me being into men nor my tattoos. Just imagine me turning up super androgynous or more on the female side of the spectrum.

I don’t even know what “all the way” exactly is but some fear is holding me back.

Do you think it is problematic for men to want to dress stereotypically “masculine”? Does your answer change depending if the man is gay, straight, bi, transgender?
Felix: No. I don’t think it’s a problem at all for anybody – even someone female identifying can wear clothes that are stereotypically “masculine”. Everyone should be able to look like or do whatever they want as long as they don’t harm anybody else.

What is problematic in my eyes are people using the words “masculine” or “feminine” over and over again to describe their style or others’. Because those words just can’t be used to describe a look because their definitions are too broad.

Have you always dressed in a way that most people consider androgynous? Does this style make you feel empowered? How do you find men respond to your style? Women?
Felix: I wouldn’t say people in my hometown were able to put the label “androgynous” on that I was looking like but neither was I and we don’t even like labels, do we? But like I said before I don’t remember a time when I didn’t buy “women’s clothes” – so yes I dressed androgynous back then also. It always depends on my mood if I feel empowered by my style. But I think everyone has those days when you step out and just don’t feel yourself. Most people on the streets don’t appreciate someone dressed very androgynously. So as soon as I am in an environment in which people do – I feel very empowered by my look. I’d say it’s about five to even six days a week of me feeling great about how I look and my style choices which is an amazing ratio.

I don’t want to pigeonhole all men but I there are certain ways most men have reacted to me:
Some just don’t understand me as a human being. (most of them)
Some are fascinated by my being and my visions – they usually become my friends.
Some others see me as a sexual fetish.
Since the moment I started being very open, out spoken, and more confident about how I feel about my gender identity, no man has wanted to date me seriously. But as long as I don’t fully understand myself how am I supposed to explain to somebody else? I assume there are people out there understanding each other without explanation – which is what I hope for.

With women, interactions are usually not that easy to pigeonhole. I think the reason for that is that they know I’m usually not into them and know interacting with me nicely will not make them “less masculine” or “gay”. They usually make me into the stereotypical gay guy and society has taught them I should therefore be their best friend.

Model: Leon. Photographer: Linh

Leon Teke

18 years old. Born and based in Berlin.

Can you tell us a little bit about yourself?
Leon: I am currently studying psychology, but I invest the majority of my time in film photography, fashion, culture, and arts. If you wanna win my heart buy me sushi, have passion, and know your shit. I recently moved into my first flat on my own, so the next mission is to figure out interior design. I like to cook, I like to dance, I like to sing, and sometimes do all three at the same time.

Fashion has become more fluid over time yet we still definitely define certain styles as more masculine and others as more feminine. Do you consider the way you dress masculine or feminine? Or do you not really pay much attention to the distinction/think a distinction is not important?
Leon: Even though I personally don’t think the distinction matters, I try to pay attention to what is perceived as feminine and what people might see as masculine. For me it’s the most fun combining both. Wearing heels? Go for some wide bootcut old school jeans. It’s the outfits that people keep staring at that have the most impact. I try to be aware of what I’m wearing to be able to send a message, yet I’d say I dress rather masculine with sprinkles of femininity.

Although there is more fluidity in certain scenes, mainstream society pushes stereotypically masculine aesthetics on men which reinforce the idea of men needing to be “manly”. Do you feel pressured to look this way? And if so do you think other men, women and or society are the cause?
Leon: I honestly do feel pressured sometimes to present myself as masculine because I’m a man. It’s the worst. Wearing outfits that don’t fit society’s standards is both exhausting and a great to go out and show who you are. It starts with little things such as nail polish – a step out of your comfort zone.

And for some reason there’s always someone who feels like you and your fashion choices are disturbing them in their heteronormative comfort zone as well – even though it’s not even about them in any way at all. You learn to keep calm and confident and step by step wear you wear whatever makes you feel most like yourself. Without the pressures from society, embracing non-heteronormative fashion would probably not be a step by step process but rather a colourful standard state.

Do you think it is problematic for men to want to dress stereotypically “masculine”? Does your answer change depending if the man is gay, straight, bi, transgender?
Leon: It’s in no way problematic for anyone ever to dress in the way they want. This doesn’t change with their sexuality. If a gay man dresses “typically masculine”, it’s probably what he feels most comfortable with. Same goes for straight-, bi-, trans- and any other people. To not break out of the mainstream and to decide not to do something crazy different is everyone’s own choice and that’s okay.

Have you always dressed in a way that most people consider androgynous? Does this style make you feel empowered? How do you find men respond to your style? Women?
Leon: My sense of fashion completely changed over the past two years. Interestingly, I find women are more supportive of my rather androgynous looks and men are mostly confused by them. I can’t explain why this is without just guessing, so I’m trying not to make any assumptions. That being said, the negative responses often come from straight men. Nevertheless, I feel the most empowered I possibly can when walking around town in a fire fit. I’m so confident about myself that it would never, not even for a split second, cross my mind to randomly bash someone else for their look. And this automatically makes me feel better than the people who take the time to negatively respond to androgynous style.

Models: Felix, Leon, Sille. Photographer: Linh


Text and interviews: Rae Tilly
Photographer: Linh.
Stylist: Yuliya Maltseva

Follow Sille, Leon and Felix on instagram. For more underground fashion, click here.